The way we define who we are is a direct result of what we know. In basic terms, the Social Self is defined as how an individual interacts with the social world presented to him and how he approaches the formation of relationships. Mental images of how I see myself play a big role also such as physical appearance, accomplishments, roles, and skills. It is self-awareness process that can sometimes be difficult. Within everyday life people believe themselves to be constantly changing. In actuality, the changes that one believes to have are but minor changes.
A person’s personality is usually set at an early age in childhood. This process begins around six or seven months when children begin to realize “themselfs” as different from their surroundings. Sense of identity begins to develop as they grow up and interact with others. When getting into the middle age, the biggest influences will probably come from your work, religion and friends still. As you can see friend plays a very big part in everyone’s life. We also tend to base our self concept by the others think of us and/or perceive us.
For example if people is always telling us we are stupid, sooner or later we just may receive that as a self concept no matter how competent we may be. However if a person is always told that they are intelligent then they will conform to what is expected of them. We can also call this personal identity and it means what I see myself as, positively or negatively. It could be argued but most people think they are at what called the “Good” side even though he is a brutal killer. For exaple i read that over 80% of the prisoners ready to be executed still believes they are innocent.
The way one sees things and their judgement is varied by ones own personal identity. This is the combination, result of many factors. Like the majority of our physical appearances is already destined since the moment of our conception, of course, there are also other factors such as nutrition and environment. Everyone’s personal identity should be changing everyday, every moment by the building up of their intelligence and experiences. Identityy achievement comes from many years of exploring different roles and personalities.
For example a person who thinks negatively of him self and others, is going to shy away from attachment and be socially avoidant which obviously is going to affect the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. So personal identity plays a major part in my quest for self-knowledge, but its up to me to choose my own identity. God created all men equally, but it is up to us to determine whom we ultimately want to be. Self esteem basically means that we should like ourselves, feel positive about yourself and respect your own worth. Feeling positive about yourself can determine how you perform.
When we respect ourselves and feel really good in ourselves, we will do better at school, enjoy life, make new friends quickly, and we are more consciously aware and in control of our behaviour. I believe a person’s self-esteem begins to take shape at an early age, with their parents being a major influence. Parents who do not feel good about themselves or others, sometimes take it out on their childern by belittling them or discouraging them. This leads the child down a path of self-doubt and eventually given the right circumstances a lower self-esteem.
In most cases, children with low self-esteem feel that the important adults and peers in their lives do not accept them, do not care about them very much, and would not go out of their way to ensure their safety and well-being. Low self- esteem is the underlying cause of most cases involving fear, anxiety, anger, panic attacks, dependence and lack of assertiveness, depression, eating disorders, domestic violence, teen and gang violence, addictive behaviors, social anxiety disorders, avoiding personality disorders, and much more.
My parents where very overprotective which sounds good on the surface, but this caused me to feel unequal to my peers since my parents for example would not let me play sports or even go on a school field trips one time because it involved taking a harbor cruise around the bay and they thought I would fall off the boat. I was the onlyone who was not allowed to go on the field trip. I know my parents had the best intentions, but they did not know how this affected me, or my relationship with my peers.
Or for example last week my aunt visited me here in Barcelona with her 5 year old doughter and we were sitting and eating lunch when she said to me, “Igor, I am fat and ugly. ” Well I just couldn`t belive her words. At the age of five, she was already cutting herself down. I know that children around my cousin’s age have a hard time defining their sense of self but still I was a little bit shocked. Adolescence and high school students are more apt to make judgments of themselves, not children in kindergarten. Because as a teenager, our body changes dramatically, so does our physical image.
These changes are hard to believe, seeing yourself transform into an adolescent. We sometimes have trouble adjusting to these changes, which can damage our confidence as well as affect our self esteem. I feel that television, magazines, books and the internet has a very big influence on people and make our youth have a lower self-esteem. Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. It allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.
We might quickly assume that we are self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. For example when I was involved in a car accident i remember that everything was happening in slow motion. You notice every detail of your thought process and the event. This is a state of heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations. As you develop self awareness you are able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind.
Changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions. Self awareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an important factor in achieving success. It is the first step in creating what you want. Where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior determine where you go in life. So having self awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to see the controls of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make changes you want.
Until you are aware in the moment of the controls to your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life. Self awareness is developed through practices in focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behavior. It isn’t learned from reading a books. When you read a book you are focusing your attention on the conceptual ideas in the book. With your attention in a book you are practicing not paying attention to your own behavior, emotions and personality.
Think of learning to be mindful and self aware as learning to dance. When learning to dance we have to pay attention to how and where our feet move, our hands and body motion, what our partner is doing, music, beat, floor space, and other dancers. Self awareness isn’t learned from books and the tango isn’t either. As people’s outcomes in life depend heavily on how others perceive and evaluate them, they are motivated to convey certain impressions of themselves to others and to refrain from conveying other, undesired impressions.
Thus, no matter what else they may be doing, people typically monitor and control their impressions, a process known as: self-presentation. A great deal of human behaviour is, in part, determined or constrained by people’s concerns with others impressions and evaluations of them. Because all human beings are different from one another, the thought process used which results in the self-presentation of a person will also differ from person to person. In this case the potential factor effecting the self-presentation of an individual is that of the self-esteem of the individual.