Silva 3Silva 1Patrick SilvaProfessor CantlonSLS 151517 January 2018Journal #1It took me a long time to get here. “Here” may seem a small step in comparison to the long journey I have ahead of me. Yet this journey feels like a great leap over a hurdle that has stood in my way for a long time. That hurdle was built from my many excuses, my fears and self-conscious thoughts telling me that college was not for me and I could never be anything more than just an entry-level employee. I used to make excuses for why I could not go to college. Whenever one excuse no longer applied I would come up with another. When I graduated high school, I put an application in to FGCU and was accepted to start my major in forensic sciences. However, when it came to following through and applying for FASFA and other means to pay for tuition I got scared. I made excuses such as, “There’s no way I can afford this, I need to get a higher paying job so I can save money for college.”. Once I got a good paying job that offered tuition aid I thought, “There’s no way I can go to school and work a full-time job.” Even when I obtained a job that had a schedule where I had free time, I reasoned, “Well, I need to get the other aspects of my life together first, then I can focus on school.”. The cycle continued until the idea of going to college became nothing more than just a passing thought.Before I decided to take the leap into furthering my education, I thought I was happy with my life. I was working as a truck driver making a decent pay for work that I mostly enjoyed. I honestly believed that I would be driving a truck for the rest of my life and that I was okay with that, but I suppose life had different plans. Certain events came in to play, events that I would rather keep private so I will simply discuss what resulted. I started taking a hard look at where I stood in life and how it compared to what I had once hoped it would be. I saw that I had taken a detour somewhere along the way and somehow found myself lost on a path towards something far from my dreams.  I realized I was not truly happy; I was just too afraid to admit that I was falling short. This realization made me angry, angry that I had let myself wander so far off my path, that I had let trivial matters stand in my way. I decided enough was enough, no more excuses, no more caving in to my fears of failure, it was time to take the leap.I have always had an interest in understanding what makes people tick. In my teenage years, I found myself fascinated by articles and videos that described the inner workings of the human mind and enjoyed observing people’s behaviors and trying to use those observations to better understand them. For this reason and several others is why I decided to major in psychology. My goal is to gain the knowledge to contribute to new discoveries on the human psyche. Experimental psychology is the field that focuses on making these new discoveries of the human mind and is the field I wish to study.  For me to be successful in this field I will need to obtain a Master of Science degree at the very least, or a Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology to be able to compete in the job market. This task will prove to be difficult. I know I will come to face many larger hurdles than my own inhibitions in my pursuance of this goal, but I can no longer let my fears stop me from trying, for, “The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.” (Roy T. Bennett). So here I am, mid-leap and unsure of where I will land, but ready to get back up and see this through to the very end.


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