Julien:InterviewerSammy:applicantInterviewer: So what are your skills?Applicant: It’s on the resume.Interviewer: I want you to tell me!Applicant: Then resume becomes irrelevant!Interviewer: No, I want to hear itApplicant: How can you be sure that the time taken by me to say it, is greater than the time taken by you to read it!Interviewer: Well isn’t that obvious!Applicant: Not to me!Interviewer: So let’s say you are hired!Applicant: Thank you! So I will start from tomorrow.Interviewer: No just assume!Applicant: OK! Why assume, you are authorized to give me a job right! And you just said that I am hired!Interviewer: No I said, Assume!Applicant: Assume what?Interviewer: Assume that you are hired!Applicant: By whom?Interviewer: By me!Applicant: OK. I assume that you have hired me. Then let’s assume I have hired you. Cause toucan play at that game!Interviewer: We do not assume that I have been hired if i’m already hired you idiot.
Ben franklin was trying to figure out how lightning worked when it struck him, but trying to figure how you work isn’tstriking me.Interviewer: Will you work for a little less then!Applicant: No, I want money!Interviewer: No! Then we are not going to hire you!Applicant: But why should I work more for less money ,isn’t that exploitation!Interviewer: No, it isn’t it just that we don’t feel you skills are up to the mark!Applicant: But I never told you my skills!Interviewer: No, I read them!Applicant: Right now!Interviewer: No, before the interview!Applicant: Then why did you ask me for my skills before the interview! You dirty liar.Interviewer: I wanted to check your communication skills!Applicant: How did you check it then?Interviewer: I listened!Applicant: OK. I assume thatInterviewer: No I was keenly listening! You don’t have to assume!Applicant: So I should stop assuming!Interviewer: Yes!Applicant: What?Interviewer: Everything!Applicant: Then what happens!Interviewer: You can go!Applicant: So only if I stop assuming I can go , but I don’t want to go so I should not stop assuming. Am I right?Interviewer: Get out!Applicant: Not until you hire me!Interviewer: I am not going to hire you!Applicant: I am not going to assume anything now!Interviewer: Please go away, or else I will call security!Applicant: I don’t need security, I feel safe with you!Interviewer: You are impossible to deal with!Applicant: Yes , with the deal you are offering I am. I need more.
Interviewer: OK. You are hired as the new Manager. This has been a long interview let’s have a coffee break.Applicant:I don’t like coffeeInterviewer: Are you even humanApplicant:I like to expresso myselfInterviewer:There’s a latte of cringy puns out there Once there was this guy and I fired him for being late, or they guy I fired for eating a banana, I hate bananas.
I fired pretty much everyone that’s why you were hiredApplicant:(Laughs oddly) Are you my boss?Interviewer:Yes, whyApplicant;(looks around oddly,Gets off of chair, runs out the room) I quit!!See you can’t get fired If you don’t have a job(points at temple)The End